ThinkAttack.com

saturday

Killed a solid 12 hour today, first event too. Usually get the shop to myself on those days, where I nurture a near-obsessive method of organizing to keep chef happy. 200+ wedding. Back of the groom's house! Had to bring our own lighting which kept popping breakers and it was a plated event which did set the chef's mood more or less restrained in terms of savage outbursts ambiguously thrown as the evening grew; towards the owner of course, a CIA grad who is generally calm during the fire. Owner is still quite one tired bastard though.

Spent hours bouncing between random prep and slamming dishes in hose water (which kept me sharp until the green all girl waitstaff got bored - one griped about not wanting to stand around and by then it was time to shut it down) Wound up wearing an apron like a hijab to keep the mosquitoes off my neck during the dish times. First time shucking oysters today - there is a strange element I find when prying those interesting bivalves apart. Always had an odd thing about most shellfish too. I generally don't care for lobster. They eat shit. Then again so do I in a way. Steamers aren't fun for me though - that texture again! Never had an oyster but I know how to clean them with the quickness. And I respect the edges - quick, careless movements'll sure learn ya...

Great food overall though - tonight included deep fried mini reubens, pulled pork sliders, duck spring rolls (the uncooked translucent "southeast Asian" kind). Destroyed it unloading the van too at the end - back at the shop - even though when I opened the back door *WHACK!* right in the shin comes out 5 oval plastic platters trying to save em as they slide.

Tomorrow I clean the grease trap. Day before I undid the pipe that leads into the grease trap cause the 1/2" opening (from a 3" pipe) got jammed; middle and right sink barely was draining, plunger to little avail. I maintained well enough composure when I gagged as the chef was standing over me laughing and apologizing when the aroma of rotten food and grease wafted into my eager face. Sometimes when I think about making that gagging noise I want to make it louder to make myself laugh at how the sound well, sounds!

Career Builder

Follow the series on tumblr or comicfury.

Enron and the Faustian Mystery

Just to post something on the front page, here's a summary I wrote on this essay concerning and explaining the events that lead to Enron's bankruptcy. Ask questions, and I'll explain to the best of my ability. Lots of details were left out for the sake of brevity.

Open Secrets, an article by The New Yorker essayist Malcolm Gladwell, addresses the evaluation and analysis of Enron's practices prior to their bankruptcy claim, the release and processing of information, and the differences between considering a given problem to be a puzzle or a mystery.

The first section overviews the sentencing of Jeffrey Skilling, former president of Enron. He had resigned from his seat and his company had declared bankruptcy. Skilling was convicted of fraud after a controversy arose addressing Enron's financial practices. His sentencing trial heard several arguments which vilified his character, essentially labeling him as a greedy drunken liar. He was sentenced to 24 years in prison.

Gladwell explains the difference between puzzles and mysteries. Determination of the location of Osama bin Laden is considered a puzzle because its problems are due to lack of information, whereas the effects of a post-Hussein Iraq are considered a mystery because of the unsolvable aspects of predicting the future and the methodology behind the solution of such a problem. The prosecuting trial, Gladwell argues, treated Enron's bankruptcy as a puzzle when they ought to have treated it as a mystery.

The second section focuses on mark-to-market accounting, the process of projecting values of yet-to-be-gained income into a business' stock reports. Wall Street Journalist Jonathan Weil reported his findings that Enron had $747 million of unrealized money by the second quarter of 2000. Other journalists had taken notice, Enron's stocks had fallen, and the company declared bankruptcy.

Special-purpose entities (SPEs) are partnerships designed to avoid heavy interest rates on bank loans via conveyance of assets. Enron used SPEs within its own structure and with mediocre assets. Documentation of these exchanges have been demonstrated to be so filled with information that summaries of summaries of summaries still exceed 200 complex pages. There is simply too much information to process.

The question is begged, Whose responsibility is it to process these records? Andrew Fastow, Enron's chief financial officer and a key organizer of their SPE stratagem, did not understand the economic impact, Gladwell says. Because of journalists' inability to keep up, it is said that a company's responsibility to disclose documents is an anachronism.

Gladwell uses the example of prostate cancer diagnosis to contrast the apparent bias toward mystery (as opposed to puzzle). In this case, prostate cancer diagnosis has become less accurate because of changes in the diagnostic process that attempts to predict its likelihood with a large margin of error. While many critical issues are necessarily puzzles, it is argued that mysteries have become the predominant focus.

Dependence on information and its processing alternatively relies upon its transmitters (in the case of puzzles) and receivers (e.g. interpreters, in the case of mysteries). Gladwell cites that Enron has not paid income tax for four of its five last years. This is because the IRS does not interpret projected income (via mark-to-market accounting) as dollars earned; no money has actually been gained. A study at Cornell University revealed that Enron was utilizing a risky strategy in shaping its reported income. It was recommended to sell any stock in Enron.

Purchase discount dildos here. Try our new George Michael cockmold dildo! Available for a limited time!

Sigurd�r Gu�mundsson

Give my Icelandic friend a listen: http://soundcloud.com/siggidor i

*Editing this article. ~nrr

Just received a new email, and as such, I'm tagging the following URL's here.

Quote:

Sigurdór Guðmundsson to me:

Re-mastered version now uploaded ! :)

http://siggidori.bandcamp.com/ track/theme-for-ian
http://soundcloud.com/siggidor i/theme-for-ian
http://www.last.fm/music/Sigur d%C3%B3r+Gu%C3%B0mundsson/_/Th eme+for+Ian/

Frankly, I haven't even listened to them yet. But knowing him, it'll be good. Again, just wishing to spread his artistry amongst we here, in the States. Artists, support artists. Just kinda that KISS method.

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And you have to admit, that's one Bad-Ass pic! :D

Gun Control

If you're a member of the NRA, you'll find the following to be interesting reading. If you're not a member, or just anti-guns, I thought I'd throw it out here for debate.

1. Mexico's Gun Supply

2. High-Capacity Clips

Frankly, I believe our government will be coming after the munitions. Technically, ammunition is not protected under the second amendment. They could create a 'sin tax' on it. Same as with alcohol or tobacco. Or, they'll make it a nightmare of red tape to purchase. Either way, they'll make it cost prohibitive. Those are just two of the reasons I stockpile ammo for my various firearms. I know... just color me paranoid. However, paranoia is nothing more than an Acute awareness that others Really Are out to get you.

Folks, the laws are already on the books. They just don't or can't enforce them. That's not MY problem. I'm a hard working, red blooded, legal, United States citizen. I abide by our laws. I have the right to carry legally for personal self defense. I've jumped through the hoops to do so and passed the litmus test per the rules administered.

My current PDW. The tactical spot and laser light are for nighttime defense at my bedside.

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Time for a break

Last Saturday was unusually warm for mid-November and I spent the morning digging the carrots I planted on the 4th of July. We've had such a great growing season this year that the carrots are big..... almost too big but they are very sweet. I brought about 20 lbs into the kitchen after I hosed them off to fill up the fridge. The other 80 or so pounds I buried in a pit in the garden and covered the site with a mound of oak leaves and a canvas held down by cement blocks. I'll be able to dig them anytime through the winter.

The only things left in the garden are parsley, rosemary and cilantro, the latter will be used next week for grilled shrimp with cilantro dipping sauce, a favorite of ours. After that, I have the winter off.

All of my other crops have done very well: corn, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, squash, snap beans, chard, lettuce, beets, cukes and all the herbs (one variety in particular) but none compared to my crop of lima beans.

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Lima beans, both pole and bush varieties, need hot weather. The coast of Maine is not disposed to extended periods of hot weather and I keep trying to grow limas because I love succotash, a combination of corn and limas. The recipes are almost unlimited. My successful years can be counted on one hand out of the last 30 or so attempts.

This year, by chance, I not only bought seed for the bush variety, I also bought seed for two pole varieties. I had no expectations of success. I just wanted to try.

Well, it turned out to be one hell of a crop thanks to global warming or chance, I don't know.

So....... we canned a bunch, froze a bunch and dried a bunch and I will be happily farting my way through this upcoming cold Maine winter.

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Growing our own food is one of the most fulfilling things we do in our life. We hope you will try it too. What you eat you are. My first 2011 seed catalog arrived today!

Maybe the pics will work if Dean fixes it. I know I uploaded them correctly.

time bomb slime bomb

Its sometime in the morning according to my phone and I think its wednesday, but maybe its friday. I dont know. The fact that its morning tells me its almost time to bring Ty to school and then head to the railyard. About ten hours after that Ill try to eat something. An hour after that Ill try to shower. And sometime after that I will try to sleep.

Tomorrow it might be thursday or saturday and it will hold nothing of the day before.

I want to do nothing. I want to feel how comfortable the couch is. I want to set the alarm clock wrong so I can gain those 5 extra psychological minutes of imaginary time every morning.

I know that time is passing me by because I watch the numbers change on the clock.

I know the seasons pass by because I watch the leaves flutter and change in the foreground of unforgiving sunbeams.

I will find that a year turned me around. I will see that year that changed my colors. I will live that year in my final moments. And I will try to catch the life that is gone, the life I lived, and all I will achieve is a simple passing.

Guilt has a relative existence.

I will regret everything and admit nothing. I will die as a sinner should.

The importance of being Brad Neely.

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creased comics

The woodpile wars.

Well, there haven't been many changes in my neighborhood in the last 25 years or so until recently, about 16 months ago when my neighbors of 33 years that lived two houses up the road abruptly sold out and moved to Seattle. An elderly couple, she was disabled and he couldn't take care of her anymore and their daughter insisted they move in with them. The house sold in two days.

The new owners immediately started cutting down many of the huge red oaks that surrounded the house in order to let in some sunlight. I can't fault them. I took down a lot of trees around my house back in '75 just to open things up. They even hired a bucket truck and a 120' crane. That house and my closest neighbor's house practically lived in a dungeon amidst these towering oaks.

Last May my closest neighbor died and her grown children spent the next several months cleaning out that big rambling home and it sold a few weeks ago. The first thing the new owner did was to remove four massive red oaks, three of them within five feet of the house. The fourth one, biggest of all, sat on the property line between them and us. I would guess it's age at 250 years and it's broad trunk was obviously rotting and leaning ominously toward his house. He wanted to take it down and as it was over 200 feet from my house and a line tree I told him to go for it. He hired the same contractor as my other neighbor and brought in the same crane and bucket truck.

Now they both have these huge piles of wood in their yards.

So here I am, the guy who HAD the biggest woodpile in this neck of the woods suddenly being challenged by two new neighbors (who obviously don't know anything about working up firewood).

I have a mere ten cords of wood split and stacked outside and maybe two cords in my cellar. These new neighbors have thrown down the gauntlet on the "BIGGEST WOODPILE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD". I figured I'd let them have their glory until late fall when I would have another eight cord load of wood dropped off.

Well, I have trumped them! Last week the guy I buy my wood from had a job in town and asked if I wanted a load now rather than wait 'till fall and dropped the price a bit so he didn't have to haul it the 35 miles to his yard. Yesterday he dropped off a load bringing my total to about 20 cords of wood in my yard.

Take that muthafuckas!

I can't wait 'till they come over and ask to borrow my homemade hydraulic wood splitter. I am such a tool.

I Want a New Drug

The moment had arrived. I sat on the couch eagerly anticipating the events to come. It had been four days since my friend had first told me about this, and during that time my mind reeled with a curious thirst, a thirst that was about to be quenched.

I remember being on a black hammock-like couch made of aluminum tubing and canvas. The room was dark, illuminated by the distant glow of the kitchen bulb and the dancing LEDs on a stereo that loudly pumped hypnotizing electronic beats and melodies into the air. I held the Pyrex bubbler in my hand and took a few deep breaths.

"Remember, this is like nothing you have ever experienced before, and probably ever will again. Are you sure you are ready for this?"

I nodded my head in agreement, put the mouthpiece against my lips, and struck the lighter. I sucked until I could taste the smoke, then released the carb, and inhaled the fumes. I recall handing my friend the bubbler, and looking at his face. He had a concerned, yet comforting, expression. I mentally tried to prepare myself the best that I could.

His face began to elongate, then shred apart. The room began to rotate, increasing in speed, until the centrifugal force caused it to explode into fragments and fly away. I found myself floating in the center of a whirling vortex of color and light. There was no gravity, there was no up, there was no down. I felt myself frantically waving my arms in search of some type of stabilization, but I could not see my arms before me. I was there, but my body was not.

I began to relax, looking around and absorbing all that I saw. There were strange light pink, powder blue, and pale yellow grimacing cartoon-like faces floating all around me. They were twisted and contorted, they looked eerie and odd, but the thought that I must appear the same to them comforted me. They floated around me, looking over me, examining my every detail, just as I did to them. I felt like a stranger in their world, but one that was welcome.

At this point, I had no recollection of smoking anything. I had no memory of my past; I did not even know who I was; all that I knew was this reality; this strange place in which I had never been. It was as though I had just been born, and I was looking at my surrounding world for the very first time. I had no sensation of time, and I felt as though this was all that there ever was.

The twisting cyclone around me began to slow down. As it slowed, it began to collapse. The beings began to leave me, one by one, floating off into the void. I began to feel a bit frightened as everything started to close in on me. My panic thickened as the swirling barriers of color and light engulfed me. I frantically felt myself grasping for something as the light consumed me. This was when I got my first sensations of physical reality. I felt my hands clutched around the aluminum pole of the black couch that ran beneath my knees.

I held on to it with all my strength as the colors began to form shapes. I saw the dark silhouette of a television. Beneath that, I saw flashing LEDs on a stereo. The room began to fall together just as it blew apart. I watched as the walls, the ceiling, and the floor formed around me. I once again felt gravity, and I jumped to my feet.

All my memories came rushing back to me. I began to remember who I was, where I was, and what I had done. I finally regained my composure, and I looked over to see my friend standing next to me with an eager and pleasing smile. He reached out his arm and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Are you back?" he asked with gleeful anticipation, "How was it?"

"It was amazing," I replied in a dumbfounded tone, "How long was I out?"

"Just about five minutes."

"Wow, it felt like an eternity."

I felt tingly and lightheaded for about another fifteen minutes as I sat and attempted to describe where I had been and what I had seen. Then, I was back to normal, and felt no lasting effects at all. Amazing memories of another universe are all that remain.

When it comes to mind-altering substances, I have done a lot, and I have done it in heavy doses, but nothing compares to what I experienced that day. My words do my sensations and my visions no justice at all, for there are no words in reality that can describe something that exists completely outside of it. Everything that I knew as "real" simply ceased to exist, catapulting me into another realm, all while I remained fully conscious and alert, or at least so it seemed.

Salvia Divinorum is her name.

Here are a few works of art inspired by her:

"Oversoul" by Alex Grey

S.A.D.E." by Alienmindscape

"Particulate Man" by Robert Kellett

You can read the experiences of other people's experiments here:
http://www.sagewi sdom.org/experiences.html

This is by far the most informative and educational website I could find:
http://www.sagewi sdom.org/index.html

America: Freedom to Fascism

Aaron Russo was an accomplished movie and music producer who had produced award-winning films such as "Tading Places" (starring Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd) and chart-topping musical acts such as Bette Midler. He made millions, which allowed him to rub elbows with some of this country's most rich and elite. While doing so, he learned something that caused him to take his life down an entirely new and different path. He got heavy into activism and politics. Unfortunately, he died of bladder cancer on August 24, 2007. However, before he passed, he produced, directed, and narrated a documentary that he funded out-of-pocket with his own money. The name of that film is "America: Freedom to Fascism", and it is linked below. It is about an hour and fifty minutes long, and I implore anyone and everyone to take the time to view it.

Quote:

This is a documentary about an honest search for the truth about the Federal Reserve Bank (a private bank) and the legality of the Internal Revenue System. Through extensive interviews with recognized experts and authority, the director shows an astonishing revelation of how the Federal Government and the Bankers have fooled the American public by taking their wages and putting it in the pockets of the super-rich.

The director goes so far as to interview one of the "master-minds" of the IRS Code, and you the viewer can draw your own conclusions as to how the system works. This is NOT a documentary filled with opinions, conjecture or editorial comment. It is a true documentary with a purpose, and that is to educate every wage earner about the Federal Reserve Bank and the IRS, how they got started, and where the money goes. It is well done, and it will make you laugh, and it will make you ANGRY!

~ from IMDB.com

My buddy

My mother's death was very painful. She had a brain tumor which they tried to remove........ unsucessfully. She died on her mother's birthday at the age of 70 and we buried her on her own birthday a few days later. My father was the one who had the burden of pulling the plug on her and the toll on him was crushing.

But it had to be done. She was beyond help.

I left home at age 19 and never went back except for visits. I miss my mother but it was 30 years after I left home when she died.

I have lived every day with this dog for 10 years and he has been the best buddy anyone could ever ask for. I posted an article here back in '02.

His life took a turn for the worse in the last two weeks. Tests showed that his pancreas had stopped functioning and he was losing bladder control. Diabetes. We bathed him and our sons came by to say their goodbyes.

Now that big rubber band between he and I has been cut and I am the bastard who did it.

Yes, I could have spent huge amounts of money to prolong his life....... maybe ........but he was 12 years old. He might have gained a year or maybe two on the outside..... to what end.

The Vet came to the house Tuesday to do the deed. I thought I had the courage to do him in myself but I failed..... I could not do it.

The Vet assured me that we were doing the right thing and that trying the other route would have been unfair to him and us.

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The last vision he had was from the table on our patio........ his throne overlooking his kingdom of our pond and field. It cost extra to have the Vet come to our house but I felt I owed it to him.

I held him as his life was leaving his body and he let out a howl that I took as a whatishappeningtomeIloveyougoo dbye. It tore through my heart like cold steel. I will hear the echo of that wail for days to come.

There have been many dogs and cats pass through my life but there have been none to compare with this guy. Our lives were in lockstep for over a decade and I'm having a bitch of a time adjusting.

My wife and I have shed a lot of tears in the past few days. He was a real member of our family.

This post is for you, Calvin. I love you. Rest well.

A White Christmas

Watching the evening news tonite and amazed at the hype regarding a 'major' snowstorm for the east coast....... Virginia, North Carolina, Washington DC, Pennsylvania, Deleware, New Jersey.......etc....etc.... all paralyzed by a typical Nor'easter.

Fuckin' wimps. PREPARE!

OK. They put plows on their garbage trucks. Come on now!

We here in Maine are prepared to handle two feet of snow as easily as two inches of snow.

They know it's gonna happen. We know it's gonna happen.

Yet the country comes to a standstill due to a foot or two of snow in Washington DC.

After last year's 23" blizzard we had school the next day. DC schools will be closed all week.

We attack the storm. They fold under the storm's assault.

It happens every year yet they are never prepared.

I am fucking amazed.

Who Needs the Army?

Well folks, it's been a while. I hope this article finds everyone in good times and spirits. Me? I've been doing much better since the hey days here on think attack. No more tokin or cokin. I've been married for a year this month, own a nice house with a pool, a kickass German Shepherd, and a small business. I also work a second job, which as my business has headed south, has turned into my first job.

So, on with the story. Some of you may know that I've got a little bit of a shady past. When I was younger, I was accused of a sex crime. Not a "horrible" one, but a sex crime none the less. It was such bullshit. I've taken and passed every polygraph that the fucking state wanted me to, and was still placed on a little list I like to call the Registered Sex Offenders List.

For a while, I let it ruin who I was. It took a lot of time to get out of self destruct mode and move on with my life. And just for any nay sayers here, my wife and her friends worked for the Department of Children and Families at the time, and ol' Deano from think attack is one of my best friends. Those types of people wouldn't call me friend if this shit was serious.

So anyways. With my business shrinking and shirinking, and with my wife and I wanting to have children, I got a little bit of the Army bug. I figured, "Hey, I used to be a Paramedic. I was a specialist Cardio Tech. I've been to college. I've got good credit. I've got a 99 on the ASVAB. I'm willing to be deployed. I have letters of recommendation from a USAF Colonel and a Leiutenant. I also have the letter from the Lt. Col in charge of recruiting for The United States Military Academy at West Point from when they tried to recruit me when I was a kid. I'd be a perfect candidate!"

So, I started talking to a recruiter. I tested. I was told to pick my career. I tested for that too. I was told that Special Forces Medical Sergeant. Basically battlefield medic, with some extra bells and whistles.

Shit was I through the roof. I knew it would take a LOT of hard work getting into good enough shape for basic, none the less to wear that SF patch on my shoulder.

Now my future son would have something to be proud of. I would have a career for now, rather than a job. I could actually sacrafice something for this shit hole country that I love so much.

Then I got the message. "Not so fast partner." It was Sergeant Carnegie from the recruiter's office.

"There are 3 things that preclude enlistment into the US Military; Prior service who has been discharged for drugs, homosexuality, and any sort of sex offense." He went on to tell me how badly he felt, and tried to relate to me by telling me about his brother who's a registered sex offender for being caught urinating in public. He can't serve his country either.

If you've ever had a door closed in your face for reasons out of your control, then you may know how low this felt. The Fucking Army wouldn't even accept me. "You aren't even good enough to catch a bullet for Uncle Sam." You'd think I'd be the first one they want to deploy.

This isn't a "cry for the registered sex offenders" story here. I vote for most of the laws regarding sex offenders, but come on. When I moved to Seattle, where they do all registration on a case by case basis, They didn't even require me to register. Now the Army has an issue with it?

I've got a good life here in Florida with my wife, family, and a couple of friends. I just wanted offer something more to those who have had my back through my whole legal ordeal. I wanted to be able to tell my children that I served something other than probation.

Fuck em. Who needs the fucking Army anyhow?

Offer and Acceptance

So we have this Constitution That is supposed to uphold the liberties of all citizens of the federated republic, except... congress has the ability to pass laws that are contrary to the constitution due to the "necessary and proper clause", which states: "The Congress shall have Power - To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof."

There was a great deal of argument on the side of the anti-federalists that this clause would render the rest of the social contract ineffectual at guaranteeing liberty. One could say at this point that the interpretation of this clause certainly has undermined the liberties of all of U.S.

In fact this is how they managed to make marijuana illegal. Congressional powers to pass laws regulating commerce. Thus we have the U.C.C. and treaty laws that shred other countries laws on the grounds that they are barriers to free trade.

So Treaty law which is also contract law is the highest law of the land.

For example if you wanted to carry an anti aircraft gun lawfully all one would need to do is write up a notarized self executing contract and send it certified mail to whatever state and federal agency regulates such things stating: That you are noticing them of your intent to carry it and that they agree to let you without any penalty, legal or monetary if they do not respond otherwise opon thirty days from the recipt.

The contract would be adressed to the agent personally so that he would be personally liable to you should he break his feduciary duty to uphold his end of the contract. This then becomes a private matter that the court can only settle under the terms of the contract.

Essentially one could be granted license to do all kinds of ridiculous shit that so long as you have an agreement with the right puppet.

This is how many companies operate. Especially the third party debt collectors.

They offer a contract that looks like a notice of billing of which they state you have thirty days to "dispute". A dispute creates controversy so they can then file an affidavit with the court and get a judgement and if you are silent then you accept thier contract by default.

So before you accept that user agreement or sign that security agreement be sure to comprehend the details of an enforceable contract. Also don't be afraid to cross shit out and write in your terms of agreement this bit of info could save you loads of legal trouble and prevent nasty situations like foreclosure. Also note that any contract (like traffic tickets) can be recinded within 72 hours of it's acceptance.

DISCLAIMER
This is not intended as legal advise, The author assumes no liability for what anyone does with this info, if you seek legal advise be sure to seek out a qualified, licenced and bonded attorney.

waterfall

When the world was still quite young and the Creator had yet to think of man, he would often take walks throughout the forested earth. On one such stroll, the Creator wove between the majestic cedars and noble firs, admiring the garden of boulders that the trees were tending. Soon the boulders would grow to mountains, and the Creator was pleased with their care. A silver river turned about in the valley there, throwing bits of mist like glittering confetti wherever it caressed the boulders growing shapes. It was a lovely sight for the Creator to behold, and he settled upon the smoothest rock to smoke for a bit and revel in the beauty. As the Creator drew his pipe from one of the many pockets of his infinite robe, a miracle that had been nestled there tumbled out and was swept up in the rivers currant. Suddenly the river swelled and drew in the massive boulders, washing them in the miracle and binding them together. The land fell away, and the miracle leapt into the open air, taking rock and river alike. When it landed the miracle had run its course, but the river remembered its touch. Forever after that, a river could twist between the seeds of mountains, leaping bravely through the air in tribute to that long ago miracle, when the first waterfall was born.

Love #Haiku

Love is like lead paint. It makes men act retarded, although colorful.

Just a Reminder...

I know this country is busy mourning the loss of Michael Jackson and Farrah Facett, but I'd just like to mention that people are dying on an almost daily basis - not of a disease, but dying in combat, for this country. Though the media may not consider their passing a "news-worthy" event, I sure as hell do. They may not sing any songs good enough to be recorded, and surely aren't pretty enough to be on posters or in magazines, but they all damn well deserve to be remembered.

June 01, 2009

<pic>Army Staff Sgt. Jeffrey A. Hall,
28, of Huntsville, Ala.; assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 87th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry) Fort Drum, N.Y.; died June 1 in Nerkh, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. Also killed were Pfc. Matthew D. Ogden and Pfc. Matthew W. Wilson.

<pic>Army Pfc. Matthew W. Wilson,
19, of Miller, Mo.; assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 87th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry) Fort Drum, N.Y.; died June 1 in Nerkh, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. Also killed were Pfc. Matthew D. Ogden and Staff Sgt. Jeffrey A. Hall.

<pic>Army Pfc. Matthew D. Ogden,
33, of Corpus Christi, Texas; assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 87th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry) Fort Drum, N.Y.; died June 1 in Nerkh, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. Also killed were Staff Sgt. Jeffrey A. Hall and Pfc. Matthew W. Wilson.

<pic>Army Sgt. Jasper K. Obakrairur,
26, of Hilo, Hawaii; assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 87th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.; died June 1 in Nerkh, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle.

June 02, 2009

<pic>Army Spc. Roberto A. Hernandez,
21, of Far Rockaway, N.Y.; assigned to the 549th MP Co, 385th MP Bn, 16th MP Bde (Abn), Fort Stewart, Ga.; died June 2 in Paktya, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when his mounted patrol was attacked with an improvised explosive device and small-arms fire.

<pic>Army Sgt. Justin J. Duffy,
31, of Cozad, Neb.; assigned the 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.; died June 2 in Baghdad when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle.

June 03, 2009

<pic>Army Spc. Jarrett P. Griemel,
20, of La Porte, Texas; assigned to the 425th Brigade Special Troops Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team (Airborne), 25th Infantry Division, Fort Richardson, Alaska; died June 3 at Forward Operating Base Salerno, Afghanistan, of injuries suffered from a noncombat-related incident.

June 04, 2009

<pic>Army Maj. Rocco M. Barnes,
50, of Los Angeles; a member of the Tactical Command Post, 40th Infantry Division, California Army National Guard, assigned as an individual augmentee to the 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force; died June 4 in Bagram, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained during a vehicle roll-over.

<pic>Army Sgt. Christopher M. Kurth,
23, of Alamogordo, N.M.; assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 82nd Field Artillery Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas; died June 4 in Kirkuk, Iraq, of wounds suffered when his vehicle was struck by an anti-tank grenade.

<pic>Army Spc. Charles ‘Dusty' Parrish,
23, of Jasper, Ala.; assigned to the 5th Engineer Battalion, 555th Engineer Brigade, Fort Leonard Wood, Mo.; died June 4 in Balad, Iraq, of wounds suffered earlier that day in Jalula, Iraq, when his vehicle was struck by an anti-tank grenade.

<pic>Army Sgt. Jeffrey W. Jordan,
21, of Rome, Ga.; assigned to the 1st Battalion, 108th Reconnaissance, Surveillance and Target Acquisition Squadron, 48th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, Georgia Army National Guard, Calhoun, Ga.; died June 4 near Kapisa, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered from an improvised explosive device and small-arms fire. Also killed were Sgt. 1st Class John C. Beale and Maj. Kevin M. Jenrette.

<pic>Army Sgt. 1st Class John C. Beale,
39, of Riverdale, Ga.; assigned to the 1st Battalion, 108th Reconnaissance, Surveillance and Target Acquisition Squadron, 48th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, Georgia Army National Guard, Calhoun, Ga.; died June 4 near Kapisa, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered from an improvised explosive device and small-arms fire. Also killed were Maj. Kevin M. Jenrette and Spc. Jeffrey W. Jordan.

<pic>Army Maj. Kevin M. Jenrette,
37, of Lula, Ga.; assigned to the 1st Battalion, 108th Reconnaissance, Surveillance and Target Acquisition Squadron, 48th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, Georgia Army National Guard, Calhoun, Ga.; died June 4 near Kapisa, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered from an improvised explosive device and small-arms fire. Also killed were Sgt. 1st Class John C. Beale and Spc. Jeffrey W. Jordan.

June 05, 2009

<pic>Marine Lance Cpl. Robert D. Ulmer,
22, of Landisville, Pa.; assigned to 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, II Marine Expeditionary Force Headquarters Group, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune N.C.; died June 5 as a result of a nonhostile incident in Taqaddum, Iraq.

June 06, 2009

<pic>Marine Lance Cpl. Joshua R. Whittle,
20, of Downey, Calif.; assigned to 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marines, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii; died June 6 while supporting combat operations in Now Zad, Afghanistan.

June 09, 2009

<pic>Army Spc. Eduardo S. Silva,
25, of Greenland, Calif.; assigned to the 563rd Aviation Support Battalion, 159th Combat Aviation Brigade, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault), Fort Campbell, Ky.; died June 9 at Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan, of a non-combat-related incident.

June 10, 2009

<pic>Marine Chief Warrant Officer 2 Ricky L. Richardson Jr.,
33, of Franklin, Mo.; assigned to 9th Engineer Support Battalion, 3rd Marine Logistics Group, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Okinawa, Japan; died June 10 while supporting combat operations in Delaram, Afghanistan.

June 13, 2009

<pic>Army Staff Sgt. Edmond L. Lo,
23, of Salem, N.H.; assigned to the 797th Ordnance Company, 79th Ordnance Battalion, Fort Hood, Texas; died June 13 in Samarra City, Iraq, when an improvised explosive device that his explosive ordnance disposal team was acting to neutralize detonated.

June 15, 2009

<pic>Army Spc. Jonathan C. O'Neill,
22, of Zephyr Hills, Fla.; assigned to the 549th Military Police Company, 385th Military Police Battalion, 16th Military Police Brigade (Airborne) at Fort Stewart, Ga.; died June 15 at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas, of wounds sustained June 2 in Paktya, Afghanistan, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle.

June 16, 2009

<pic>Army Sgt. Joshua W. Soto,
25, of San Angelo, Texas; assigned to the 1st Battalion, 77th Armor Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division, Fort Bliss, Texas; died June 16 in Iraq of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle.

<pic>Army Capt. Kafele H. Sims,
32, of Los Angeles; assigned to the 18th Engineer Brigade, Schwetzingen, Germany; died June 16 in Mosul, Iraq, of a non-combat-related incident.

June 17, 2009

<pic>Army Sgt. 1st Class Kevin A. Dupont,
52, of Templeton, Mass.; assigned to the 79th Troop Command, Rehoboth, Mass.; died June 17 at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas, of wounds suffered March 8 in Kandau, Afghanistan, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle.

June 19, 2009

<pic>Army Sgt. Paul G. Smith,
43, of Peoria, Ill.; assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 106th Cavalry Regiment, Illinois Army National Guard, Aurora, Ill.; died June 19 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, when his vehicle was hit by an improvised explosive device. Also killed was Staff Sgt. Joshua A. Melton.

<pic>Army Staff Sgt. Joshua A. Melton,
26, of Carlyle, Ill.; assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 130th Infantry Regiment, Illinois National Guard, Marion, Ill.; died June 19 in Kandahar, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when his vehicle was hit by an improvised explosive device. Also killed was Sgt. Paul G. Smith.

<pic>Army Spc. Chancellor A. Keesling,
25, of Indianapolis; assigned to the 961st Engineer Company, Sharonville, Ohio; died June 19 in Baghdad, Iraq, of a non-combat-related incident.

June 20, 2009

<pic>Army 1st Sgt. John D. Blair,
38, of Calhoun, Ga.; assigned to the 1st Battalion, 121st Infantry Regiment, Army National Guard, Lawrenceville, Ga.; died June 20 in Mado Zayi, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when a rocket-propelled grenade struck his vehicle.

<pic>Navy Command Master Chief Petty Officer Jeffrey J. Garber,
43, of Hemingford, Neb.; assigned to the Dwight D. Eisenhower in the North Arabian Sea; died June 20 of non-hostile causes.

June 21, 2009

<pic>Army Sgt. Ricky D. Jones,
26, of Plantersville, Ala.; assigned to the 1st Maneuver Enhancement Brigade, Fort Polk, La.; died June 21 in Bagram, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when his unit was attacked by indirect fire. Also killed was Spc. Rodrigo A. Munguia Rivas.

<pic>Army Spc. Rodrigo A. Munguia Rivas,
27, of Germantown, Md.; assigned to the 710th Brigade Support Battalion, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.; died June 21 in Bagram, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when his unit was attacked by indirect fire. Also killed was Sgt. Ricky D. Jones.

June 24, 2009

<pic>Army Spc. Casey L. Hills,
23, of Salem, Illinois; assigned to the 100th Battalion, 442nd Infantry Regiment, Pago Pago, American Samoa; died June 24 in Iraq of injuries sustained during a vehicle roll-over.

June 25, 2009

<pic>Army Spc. Joshua L. Hazlewood,
22, of Manvel, Texas; assigned to the 614th Automated Cargo Documentation Detachment; died June 25 in Arifjan, Kuwait, of injuries sustained from a non-combat related incident.

<pic>Army 1st Lt. Brian N. Bradshaw,
24, of Steilacoom, Wash.; assigned to the 1st Battalion, 501st Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Airborne Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Richardson, Alaska; died June 25 in Kheyl, Afghanistan, of wounds sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle.

June 26, 2009

<pic>Army Pfc. Peter K. Cross,
20, of Saginaw, Texas; assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 87th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, N.Y.; died June 26 at Combat Outpost Carwile, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained during a vehicle roll-over.

And counting...

ferris wheel

3 years since my last post. 3 years. Because I wish to live life to live life? No. Just been busy.

I've made every attempt to look to the dark sky and snag the brightest star I could - to label it mine and store the dreams of childhood friendships lost to time. Years may pass between each thought, but the memories are vivid and clear, and I know I've lived them. I'm fond of them, and with no knowledge of a reason. The days as uneventful as they are, pass with little being retained. Perhaps a rut.

Life is its own meaning, its own purpose. I wish to be a writer. It is what I feel I do most honestly and I feel that it betters me as an individual. But it is something that will not put bread on my table every night.

I would love to write my entire life, of my understandings, of my experiences, of my knowledge, and more importantly - my mistakes. I would love to expand those understandings in order to write more. Fiction, nonfiction. poetry, prose. Trying to understand so that I may simplify and others may also understand and enjoy.

But again, in order for me to survive in our progressed society I must make money to buy a house, eat, buy clothes, and pay taxes. This is not including any vacation or down time, any time to simply enjoy life. One could argue that if one works five days a week from 830 to 500, they can spend their off-hours, weekends, and retired years "living and enjoying life" with no worries. This, to me, is not good enough.

Having to achieve security is a detrimental abstraction. It means that if I do nothing I do not have the reassurance of survival. We bring these abstractions to the level of our primitive minds. Survival itself is animal, have we not moved past being animals? I do not wish to survive or have to worry about survival, because making money to live should not even be considered survival.

The question, then, is how to break this mold. We define our children before they can see or speak. We are taught and trained through youth to be citizens who work for a living at a certain task. We are almost bred like cattle, but cattle are not given choices.

The argument is what our lives must take hold of as meaningful. Life is seen as a struggle between ourselves and the society we attempt to maintain. If one understands the society they live in, they can see that living in it is not living at all, but a fight to break free from society's restraints. We are raised being told that society's ideals are sacred, but we grow old to understand that those ideas are poison for our minds.

Some say that it is easier to live now than it was a hundred years ago, or a thousand years ago. Can this even be argued? I believe that the very idea of life has changed so dramatically due to the 20th century ideas of progress and modernism that it cannot be compared to earlier periods. We are scraping upon the soul of humanity. Where can we go from here? What can we do to change this? The answers to these questions are hard and get harder to make known and understood so that change can be initiated and accepted.

Society is still having a hard time looking through the veil of skin color and sexual orientation, how can we be asked to look through the telescope of progress?

I think somewhere our founder's ideas got lost, or the founder's descendants got greedy. The original idea was betterment, and we've forgotten what betterment truly means when applied to both the individual and the whole of society. It is not a question of "can we" or "must we" and maybe it's not a question at all. Betterment could very well be a statement.

Humanity can be salvaged, as long as we have the ability to think of ourselves as not just individuals but as a whole.

My mind is young and still hoping for truth. I know I am naive in my assumptions and presumptions, but I will try to not let age compound my fears and pressures, even though this is the function of age in our society. Age breaks us down physically and psychologically, when it should be freeing us. We are born with parents paying for our lives, and as we grow old we ourselves have to pay to live.

What kind of world is this?

Often I question my outlook, and the all important redundant question of "What does it mean to be alive?"

And the longer I live the more it becomes clear that life is to be lived as a dream where anything and everything is possible. Where everything that happens is relative to when and how you want it done. I am only one person and I can only rise as one person to smash all of my fears into the ground. Being only one person I am building my own pillars from the rubble of mortality.

Most will ignore their fears of the life they lived and many will deny they even lived at all. But what then? What in this chaotic haze of a world will they understand?

Life can have a purpose without a meaning. Life is a one word oxymoron. Life is a double standard. None of us are born with an identity. We build it. We all seek some point of light, some distant beacon to tell us we are heading in the right direction. Give us some god damned meaning. A path. How about a fucking tour guide?

Living in the cradle of a dying world, rejected by definitions and standards, a social haz mat scene, breaking apart daily and yeah, alone.

Looking for a peace of mind that will stay, I think I've found it in an introduction or two. I wasnt here on this rock when the thunder fell and made me tops on the food chain, and yet I stand in the ribbon river tickling my ankles with the questions.

And sure of only one thing - my demise. Why do I feel like an assembly line robot, built to do one thing until someone shuts off the power?

It's never too late. Speak. Tell. Do. Care. And I'll forget my hatred for your infections. If not, be the slave to your disasters. You're only one person without a lot of time. Live the way you want to be remembered. I'll remember you for how you lived.

Go and be free. These are only words.

Musical Discoveries

<pic>

It is rare if I'm not listening to music. Probably, somewhere near 24/7. Guilty as charged... Even as I sleep, music is streaming or being looped through my sound system and/or computer. Recently, given a chain of events, I happed upon this band: Menn Ársins. And more specifically, this particular song.

Every once in a while, something simply jumps off the page, grabs me by the scrotum, and holds me firmly in its grasp. I think what stood out most, initially, was 12 Steps to the Liquor Stores' musical sensuality and underlying groove. The more I listened to that seductive siren, the more I became addicted to it. And then it struck me... the lyrics are of an alcohol addiction, and early on, every addiction has its alluring bite. Absolutely brilliant play of instruments in unison with lyrics, imo!

More of the bands music can be heard, here, which is from the bassists' Last.fm profile page. These guys have me believing that the country of Iceland, has a very Warm soul.

I'm the first to realize that music is completely subjective, but give 'em a listen. I don't think you'll be disappointed. Besides... any bassist playing a Zon Sonus Fretless is a hero of mine.

THE BAND PLAYING LIVE

Title: Menn Ãrsins - Allt aÃ° gerast (Live @ IÃ°nÃ³, ReykjavÃk, Iceland. January 24th 2009) Category: Music Tags: Menn Ãrsins, Allt aÃ° gerast, Live, IÃ°nÃ³, ReykjavÃk, Iceland, January 24th 2009, Gunnar Hilmarsson, electric guitar, keyboard, vocals Kjartan GuÃ°nason, drums, SigurdÃ³r GuÃ°mundsson, fretless bass, SvÃ¡fnir SigurÃ°arson, vocals, music, Icelandic, concert, groove, guitar solo, electric bass, zon sonus Posted: Aug 22, 2010 - 01:05 am	Duration: 3min 36sec Views: 586 Watch Video Locally Watch Video on YouTube

Menn Ãrsins - Allt aÃ° gerast (Live @ IÃ°nÃ³, ReykjavÃk, Iceland. January 24th 2009) Gunnar Hilmarsson - electric guitar Haraldur V SveinbjÃ¶rnsson - keyboard, vocals Kjartan GuÃ°nason - drums SigurdÃ³r GuÃ°mundsson - fretless bass SvÃ¡fnir SigurÃ°arson - electric guitar, vocals Websites: www.last.fm/music/Menn+%C3%81rsins www.reverbnation.com/mennarsins www.youtube.com/user/mennarsins www.last.fm/user/mennarsins You can buy our CD here: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=1261496 (directly from the band) http://www.amazon.com/Menn-Arsins/dp/B001NH4JMY/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1233865798&sr=8-2 (mp3 download as well)